> Number One Idiot of 2008
>
> I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
> toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman
> called in very upset because she caught her little daughter
> eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not
> harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter
> into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
> conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter
> some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told
> her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency
> room right away. Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with
> pride.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Number Two Idiot of 2008
>
> Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield
> decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They
> were successful in getting it out of the plane and home.
> Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they
> noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It
> turned out that the chopper was homing in on the e mergency
> locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.
> They are no longer employed at Boeing.
>
> Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Number Three Idiot of 2008
>
> A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America ,
> walked into the Branch and wrote this, 'Put all your
> money in this bag.' While standing in line, waiting to
> give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone
> had seen him write the note and might call the police before
> he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of
>
> After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to
> the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his
> spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in
> the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup
> note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit
> slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells
>
> somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left. He
> was arrest ed a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line
> back at Bank of America .
>
> Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Number Four Idiot of 2008
>
> A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed
> trap that; measured his speed using radar and photographed
> his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and
> a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police
> department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he
> received a letter from the police that contained anothe r
> picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in
> his $40.
>
> Wise guy......... But you still get a sign
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Number Five Id iot of 2008
>
> A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun
> and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After
> the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle
> of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf.
> He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the
> cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe
> you are over 21.' The robber said he was, but the clerk
> still refused to give it to him because she didn't
> believe him. At this point, the robber took his
> driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the
> clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was
> in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber
> then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly
> called the police and gave the name and address of the
> robber that he got off the license. They arrested the
> robb er two hours later.
>
> This guy definitely needs a sign.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Idiot Number Six of 2008
>
> A pair of
> nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted,
> 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled
> first bandit shot him.
>
> This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Idiot Number Seven of 2008
>
>
> badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block
> through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So
> he lifted the cinde r block and heaved it over his head at
> the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him
> unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of<> Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
>
> Yep, here's your sign
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Idiot Number Eight of 2008
>
>
> I live in a semi-rural area. (
> &nb sp; We recently had a new neighbor call the local township
> administrative office to request the removal of the Deer
> Crossing sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer
> are being hit by cars out here! - I don't think this is
> a good place for them to be crossing anymore. Can you move
> it?'
>
> Here's your sign, stick it wherever you like! : )
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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