Wednesday, November 5, 2008
So Funny!
Idiots of the year .... Here's your sign! Gawwwwwwwd!
> Number One Idiot of 2008
>
> I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
> toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman
> called in very upset because she caught her little daughter
> eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not
> harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter
> into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
> conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter
> some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told
> her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency
> room right away. Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with
> pride.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Number Two Idiot of 2008
>
> Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield
> decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They
> were successful in getting it out of the plane and home.
> Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they
> noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It
> turned out that the chopper was homing in on the e mergency
> locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.
> They are no longer employed at Boeing.
>
> Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Number Three Idiot of 2008
>
> A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America ,
> walked into the Branch and wrote this, 'Put all your
> money in this bag.' While standing in line, waiting to
> give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone
> had seen him write the note and might call the police before
> he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of
>America
> After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to
> the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his
> spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in
> the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup
> note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit
> slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells
>Fargo
> somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left. He
> was arrest ed a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line
> back at Bank of America .
>
> Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Number Four Idiot of 2008
>
> A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed
> trap that; measured his speed using radar and photographed
> his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and
> a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police
> department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he
> received a letter from the police that contained anothe r
> picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in
> his $40.
>
> Wise guy......... But you still get a sign
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Number Five Id iot of 2008
>
> A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun
> and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After
> the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle
> of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf.
> He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the
> cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe
> you are over 21.' The robber said he was, but the clerk
> still refused to give it to him because she didn't
> believe him. At this point, the robber took his
> driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the
> clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was
> in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber
> then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly
> called the police and gave the name and address of the
> robber that he got off the license. They arrested the
> robb er two hours later.
>
> This guy definitely needs a sign.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Idiot Number Six of 2008
>
> A pair ofMichigan
> nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted,
> 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled
> first bandit shot him.
>
> This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Idiot Number Seven of 2008
>
>Arkansas
> badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block
> through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So
> he lifted the cinde r block and heaved it over his head at
> the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him
> unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of<> Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
>
> Yep, here's your sign
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Idiot Number Eight of 2008
>
>
> I live in a semi-rural area. (Weyauwega , Wisconsin
> &nb sp; We recently had a new neighbor call the local township
> administrative office to request the removal of the Deer
> Crossing sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer
> are being hit by cars out here! - I don't think this is
> a good place for them to be crossing anymore. Can you move
> it?'
>
> Here's your sign, stick it wherever you like! : )
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Number One Idiot of 2008
>
> I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
> toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman
> called in very upset because she caught her little daughter
> eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not
> harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter
> into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
> conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter
> some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told
> her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency
> room right away. Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with
> pride.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Number Two Idiot of 2008
>
> Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield
> decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They
> were successful in getting it out of the plane and home.
> Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they
> noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It
> turned out that the chopper was homing in on the e mergency
> locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.
> They are no longer employed at Boeing.
>
> Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Number Three Idiot of 2008
>
> A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America ,
> walked into the Branch and wrote this, 'Put all your
> money in this bag.' While standing in line, waiting to
> give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone
> had seen him write the note and might call the police before
> he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of
>
> After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to
> the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his
> spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in
> the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup
> note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit
> slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells
>
> somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left. He
> was arrest ed a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line
> back at Bank of America .
>
> Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Number Four Idiot of 2008
>
> A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed
> trap that; measured his speed using radar and photographed
> his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and
> a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police
> department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he
> received a letter from the police that contained anothe r
> picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in
> his $40.
>
> Wise guy......... But you still get a sign
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Number Five Id iot of 2008
>
> A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun
> and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After
> the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle
> of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf.
> He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the
> cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe
> you are over 21.' The robber said he was, but the clerk
> still refused to give it to him because she didn't
> believe him. At this point, the robber took his
> driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the
> clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was
> in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber
> then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly
> called the police and gave the name and address of the
> robber that he got off the license. They arrested the
> robb er two hours later.
>
> This guy definitely needs a sign.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Idiot Number Six of 2008
>
> A pair of
> nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted,
> 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled
> first bandit shot him.
>
> This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Idiot Number Seven of 2008
>
>
> badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block
> through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So
> he lifted the cinde r block and heaved it over his head at
> the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him
> unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of<> Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
>
> Yep, here's your sign
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Idiot Number Eight of 2008
>
>
> I live in a semi-rural area. (
> &nb sp; We recently had a new neighbor call the local township
> administrative office to request the removal of the Deer
> Crossing sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer
> are being hit by cars out here! - I don't think this is
> a good place for them to be crossing anymore. Can you move
> it?'
>
> Here's your sign, stick it wherever you like! : )
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
New President!!!!
Just Because He's Black
A white man asked his black friend, 'Are you voting for Barack Obama just because he's black?'
The black man responded by saying, 'Why not? Hell, in this country men are pulled over everyday just cause they're black; passed over for promotions just cause they're black; considered to be criminals just cause they're black; and there are going to be thousands of you who won't be voting for him just because he's black! However, you do not seem to have a problem with that! This country was built with the sweat and whip off the black slaves' back, and now a descendent of those same slaves has a chance to lead the same country, where we weren't even considered to be people, where we weren't allowed to be educated, drink from the same water fountains, eat in the same restaurants, or even vote.
So yes! I'm going to vote for him! But it's not just because he's black, but because he is hope, he is change, and he now allows me to understand when my grandson says that he wants to be president when he grows up, it is not a fairy tale but a short term goal. He now sees, understands and knows that he can achieve, withstand and do anything............................ JUST BECAUSE HE'S BLACK!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
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